Sunday, October 12, 2008

The Ballad Of Skinny Jeans

So, one of the many highlights of my wonderful relationship with my partner John is his passion for fashion; which has slowly rubbed off on me! Grant it, I don't think I'll ever have the ultimate sense of style that he has, but I have learned to start to wear items that compliment me as well as celebrate my being! (read: no longer ONLY wearing black t-shirts and baggy jeans).

One look that I've always loved was skinny jeans; however I always assumed that skinny jeans were for skinny people; then John discovered that 'slim fit' jeans actually do come in my size!!

Yesterday he gave me my first pair, which he had ordered from - of all places - Old Navy!

I slipped them on and I was reborn! I really enjoyed the unusual feeling of having fabric cling my skin and I had to quickly adapt to the sensation of no longer feeling air circulate around my legs as I walked around.

Don't get me wrong, I totally love them - however, yesterday was a comedy of errors learning to adapt to the world of Skinny Jeans - so much so, that I felt it warranted a post.

It began with the quick understanding that bending over was a skill that I had to relearn, now that I was in Skinny Jeans Land. Between a combination of the cling of fabric as well as the low fit around the waist, it took me some time to figure out how to work these newfangled things!

We stopped for lunch outdoors at Bridget Foy's on South Street - for those who know, they have a great (newly-renovated) space indoors and out - complete with a new menu and it really is a sweet spot for a meal all day (including breakfast!). We choose outside sitting, since it was a beautiful early fall day and that's when the fun began.

Bridget Foy's have these aluminum bar stools for outside - what I didn't realize was that my new jeans had no traction - as soon as I sat down I began to slowly slide off my seat! I felt like a little kid trying desperately to sit at the big people's table - with little success! Finally, I hooked my feet underneath the foot bar to sort of lock myself into position. God help me if there was a fire - I would have either taken the stool with me or just release my feet and slowly slide down to the floor and drop and roll!

But now that I was secure - and that problem was solved I realized that I had developed a breeze in the back. With my low-fitting jeans, lets just say there was a full-moon on the horizon! So I proceeded to pull my T-shirt down and then lean back to sit on the fabric, keeping THAT in place.

So here I am; sitting back in order to hold in my shirt down and legs locked in place to hold in my slippage!

I made it through without drama - but later in the afternoon I learned another rule of skinny jeans; don't even think of kneeling! While digging through a room full of used vinyl at Repo Records, I realized that I was simply unable to kneel down and flip through crates; so I rigged up this ingenious method of bringing the vinyl to my eye level - classy!

Last night John and I joined friends for a trip to NJ to get some food and then see a flick at the Ritz in Cherry Hill (we saw Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist - a fine, cute escape flick) ... but en route I realized I had to learn another simple task; climbing into SUV-type cars. The first time was a challenge - the second time I simply crawled into the back seat, like the skinny-jean wearing invalid that I had become.

Sure, perhaps I have a new understanding to the phrase 'a slave to fashion', but let me tell you...




brandy101 said...

Hmm, it sounds like you could use jeans with a bit more stretch in them for the climbing int trucks and up on to barstools and such?

Also, I always wear longer tunic-type tops with my more fitted gives a nice lean look but covers the crack!!! ;)

Anonymous said...

I have always envied those skinny gboys in their skinny jeans. At my venerable age, I need to have circulation and ventilation.

Remind me to tell you of my misadventures in those black Mamlet tights that were in style some time ago among us denizens of the underworld. They one au du rage on South Street.

Eric said...

I think skinny jeans are fine, just not the ultra skinnies that you see on a lot of kids. And definitely not the crazy colors... lol